Friday, January 14, 2011

Funky First Day Back

4 classes back to back.. Doesnt seem like much, until you have to go from building to building and hope that you can make it.. Despite that, I actually like my classes.  I have a dorky math dude, a hippy chick that reminds me of a female version of Conan O'Brian, the motherly figure, and a brit who sounds more Austrailian.  Well these are just my Thursday courses.  I still havent met my TA in Tuesday's lab.  My MWF courses I have two chicks.

Bf update: Still in love, but having a bad day so the alone feeling is definitely coming to light more.

I find that I still have issues with being touched without permission... I fear that I will be forever screwed up.  Im sure I need some heavy therapy.. If only I had the ability to open up quickly to someone.  I dont. So it wouldnt work.  Or at least thats my momentary view on it.  Maybe I am just scared to face everything.. I know that I am.  I just never want to admit it.  Its these moments that I am glad for the long distance thing, if he could see me, he would know when I am hurting, when I am freaking out, when I have my moments, he would know just how much I am screwed up. 

Funny thing, I actually think that he would still love me. As a matter of fact deep down, I know that he would.  But theres a fear there still. 

No comments:

Post a Comment